18 JulWhat are your needs?
At work…at home…we all have things that are vitally important to us. These are the imperatives for us to continue to function at the same or higher level. Our imperatives feed us and keep us going and enable us to do our work well and with love and passion, because our deepest needs are already met.
When our needs aren’t met we start to break down. We borrow from other areas of our lives and seek other ways to bring ourselves up. These other means typically aren’t sustainable because, by their very nature, they are substitutions for our deep basic needs.
Just to bring greater clarity to the types of ‘needs’ I’m referring to here I’ll use my own as an example. For me I need clarity around expectations. This helps me to know that I’m headed in the right direction. Without it I start to wonder what is expected and if I’m doing what is most helpful and in everyone’s highest interest. I also need to feel appreciated for who I am and what I’m doing. I know that we all make mistakes and that we all need to course correct from time to time, but for me I simply need to know that “I’m ok” and that my efforts are appreciated and making a positive difference somehow.
When I start to experience flack from an important person in life (a boss, my wife, a close friend) I ask myself “wow, do I need to change something here about what I’m doing? Have I screwed up or headed in the wrong direction somehow?” I try very hard to be doing the right thing, so criticizm tends to stop me pretty fast and to be honest, I have a low capacity for it. I tend to be a bit overly sensitive and I try to meter my responses with this in mind.
I’ve spoken far too much about me though. This is really about the concept that if our needs aren’t met that we are ultimately not in a sustainable situation. And so I’d just like to emphasise the importance of finding your words around your own personal set of imperatives. I firmly believe that if we don’t, eventually we’ll be asking ourselves where things went wrong.
I hope that there’s some value in this post for those of you who have taken the time to read it. I’m truly always thinking of you and asking ‘what can I offer of value’. I hope you’re well.
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